The sun rose higher and higher as the weather got hotter and hotter. Han Zhifan, whose forehead was full of sweat, showed no signs of leaving.
Time gradually passed by. After sunset approached and the light gradually dimmed again, Han Zhifan turned his head to glance at the gravestone beside him.
Since he arrived in the morning till now, he hadn't said a word. All of a sudden, he moved his lips. "Lili, I have to leave again. Next time, when I have time, I'll come see you again..."
Like before, after Han Zhifan bid farewell on his visit to see Han Zhili, he would get up and leave. However, this time, he sat on the ground without moving an inch.
He pulled out a cigarette from his pocket. After taking two puffs, he then said, "Lili, are you blaming me? Blaming me for treating her so well lately..."
"Lili, don't be mad. I'll never do that again... At the time, I was soft-hearted and pitied her..."
"...Lili, don't worry. I promised to help you get revenge, so I definitely will. I'll make the person who killed you taste just how insufferable it feels for tragedy to befall a relative!"
"Lili, did you know that you have a nephew?"
"He's called Hanhan. He's very cute, but she gave birth to Hanhan. I was afraid you wouldn't be happy to see him, so I didn't bring him..."
After Han Zhifan said that, he lowered his head and stared at the cigarette between his fingers for a long time. Just as the cigarette was about to burn to the end, he put it out on the ground. Then he got up and said "goodbye" to the gravestone. He stared at Han Zhili's photo on the gravestone for a short while then turned around and headed down the mountain.
As he emerged from the cemetery, Han ZHifan didn't return to the office nor did he return home.
He drove around Beijing several times until his stomach started hurting from not having eaten anything all day. That was when he parked the car by the side of the road and randomly found a fast food restaurant to fill his stomach.
Back in the car, Han Zhifan didn't drive around randomly anymore. Instead, he pulled the car seat flat down and laid there for a while. He tore open a pack of cigarettes and started smoking one cigarette after another.
Thereafter, he knew full well what path to take, but he didn't know what he was so hesitant about.
Two years ago, didn't I cut things off cleanly? Now, two years later, how hard could it be to cut things off once again?
This time, he was afraid he wasn't just cutting off their relationship, and this time, he had these uncontrollable feelings deep down...
If the housekeeper hadn't abruptly brought up the upcoming anniversary of Lili's death that night, he was afraid he would've still been too immersed in her world without even knowing it.
Under these circumstances, he shouldn't have felt like that. To him, this was too dangerous and felt too foreign.
If he was around her frequently, he really was afraid he would forget his own original intentions.
There were some things that had started to develop out of his control. He wouldn't carry out future matters he couldn't predict and take paths he wasn't certain of.
Even though he was torn about things and even if he wanted to run away from things, a week had passed. He couldn't let it drag on like this...
Han Zhifan stared with lingering eyes and deeply thought about things for a moment. Then he picked up the phone and made a call.
The call went through. He waited for the person on the phone to call out his name before he flatly asked, "Lin Na, didn't you always want to marry me?"