Han Zhifan wanted to hear about Hanhan’s past, and moreover, he wanted to hear about things he didn’t know about her…
But he didn’t want to put her in a difficult position. She wasn’t willing to tell him, so he made do with her offer. “Okay.”
Cheng Weiwan wasn’t in a hurry, so she tilted her head as though she was seriously reminiscing about something for a while. “After I left you, I didn’t leave Beijing because I had already been here for many years at that point, so I knew it very well. I was afraid that if I suddenly moved to a new place, it might be difficult for me to deal with things if I came across any problems while pregnant.”
“You told me to abort the child. Although your secretary helped me keep this secret, I was still afraid that you’d find out, so I didn’t dare go to the hospital. I spent a large sum of money to hire a private doctor. Even so, I felt uneasy every day and perhaps that affected Hanhan, because I started to show signs of bleeding at six months.”
“I almost lost Hanhan that time.”
“Actually, at the time, my mental state wasn’t that great. I was really down and after I found out that my pregnancy wasn’t stable, my first thought wasn’t to work hard to protect the baby. Instead, I thought it would be pretty great to die with the baby.”
“Hanhan was stronger than I was. He fought on, so I fought on.”
“Hanhan was born in the middle of a snowy night in Beijing and the ground was very slippery. There were still two months until the expected delivery date when my water suddenly broke. The nanny I hired happened to be off that day, so I was alone. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even leave the apartment. In the end, Muqing came to see me and happened to see me like that. She sent me to the hospital.”
“I didn’t take good care of the baby and my state of mind was always terrible. When we reached the hospital, Hanhan still wouldn’t come out. The doctor was impatient and so was I. In the end, I bled a lot.”
Bled a lot…the sudden image of himself rushing to the hospital and seeing Lili lying in a pool of blood flashed across Han Zhifan’s mind.
Those were the circumstances on the day Hanhan was born?
Han Zhifan didn’t say anything, but he looked very pale.
“That was Hanhan and my second time almost leaving this world.” In comparison to the torment Han Zhifan felt in his heart, Cheng Weiwan felt nothing while she thought back to that frightening scene.
“Hanhan was born two months premature. When he was born, he was particularly small and he could’ve died at any time.”
“Hanhan stayed in the incubator for three whole months before he came back home with me.”
“I was alone during the three months that Hanhan stayed in the incubator. That was when I got depressed.”
“It was very serious. It was so serious that I didn’t want to live. I walked up to the window more than once, wanting to jump down, and I stood still in the middle of the road more than once.”
“Fortunately, Muqing and Yinan Ge noticed something was wrong with me at the time, so they took turns taking care of me around the clock.”
Cheng Weiwan spoke very slowly. As she spoke, she stopped and thought to herself every now and then.
She spoke quietly in the same volume that she usually used to tell Cheng Han’s fairy tales in the evening. However, it caused endless daggers to repeatedly stab his heart.
Han Zhifan was so hurt, but from beginning to end, he didn’t tell Cheng Weiwan to stop.
Before he arrived and decided to listen to her tell all these stories, he already knew he was going to be really hurt. However, he never imagined he would be this hurt.