When she heard He Jichen's voice, Ji Yi realized just how deeply his one line affected her. She hastily gulped and pushed down the surging emotions in her chest. As she forced herself to come back to her senses, she looked at He Jichen and said, "Although it wasn't your fault that night, I'm really grateful you said you'll take responsibility. But I'm sorry..."
Before Ji Yi could finish speaking, she felt like something was forcefully clutching her heart as a ravaging, raw pain started to creep into her chest.
Her fingers instinctively grasped the table, and she struggled to look and sound calm. She continued to say, "...He Jichen, I can't accept it."
Yes... I can't accept it, nor can I accept it...
This is obviously how I feel, but why does my heart hurt even more intensely after I said it?
It hurts even more than last night when I decided to end things with He Yuguang...
Ji Yi was in pain for so long that she didn't dare to breathe in fear of accidentally losing it in front of He Jichen. However, even though she worked really, really hard to restrain herself, her fingertips still started to tremble softly.
She assumed this unbearable pain would only hurt for a while before subsiding, but she never imagined that the pain would actually grow more intense. It coursed from her chest, into her blood and into every corner of her body.
How weird! Why am I so hurt? Last night, I was hurt because I cared about Yuguang Ge and liked him, but even now, I'm hurt...
As that thought flashed across Ji Yi's mind, her mind suddenly went blank.
She stayed frozen for about half a minute like her pressure points had been hit. Her long eyelashes blinked gently, and she came to a realization that was undeniable. Each and every word leaped into her mind: I might feel a little moved by him.
Three months ago, she clearly hated him to the bone, wanted nothing more than to never cross paths with him.
Since when did that all change?
Was it when I saw the anxiety in his eyes and knew he was worried for me when I hurt myself to frame Qian Ge?
Was it when I heard him say "Can you give me a hug?" after I was possessed and brought up egg-fried-rice for him, seeing that he hadn't eaten?
Was it that night when I finally understood him after Fatty told me everything about him over dinner by West Lake?
Was it the following morning when he put three contracts in front of me and asked if I was willing to trust him?
Just when did I start to have feelings for him?
Ji Yi tried hard to think of an answer, but she couldn't find one. However, she knew that no matter how unwilling she was, no matter how much she didn't want to face the music, she couldn't help but admit that she was emotionally moved by him.
No wonder she couldn't help but feel rattled after they became friends and her heart raced whenever their eyes met. No wonder she drank because she was upset by Xia Yuan's appearance and no wonder that, when she was a drunken mess, she did some incomprehensible things. She even kissed him...
Ah! So, I'm emotionally moved by him...
Even though she never felt like she was moved by him before, her actions seemed to have silently betrayed her true feelings inside.