She would feel even worse, how bad would that be?
Just the thought of it made him shudder, making him blame himself more.
They were right, it was indeed his mistake. He had loved her for so many years, and every single time they did it, it seemed like a dream. He never remembered to take contraceptive measures and she had also forgotten, causing the tragedy today.
When they were still in school, boys from his dorm had also had an active s.e.x life, but none of them had ended up killing a life.
He remembered in one physical education lesson, a girl was not aware of her pregnancy and had partic.i.p.ated in a marathon. In the last round, she started bleeding heavily. Afterwards, she realized that she had miscarried.
That was back in high school, and the incident had severely damaged the reputation of their school. In the end, the girl was forced to leave. When she left with her belongings, her eyes were red and swollen, but the guy had found another girlfriend soon after. Every time the incident was brought up, the girl would be blamed for her indecency.
There was another time in college, the guy that was living below his bunk bed, who had a relatively good background, had managed to get together with the most popular girl from the Chinese department. She had aborted three times because of him, but he had never cared, even showing off to the others when he got drunk. After he had graduated, he had dumped her, but by then, she wasn't able to get pregnant anymore.
At that time, he didn't pay attention to any of those gossips, but today, after Qiao Anhao had a miscarriage and had to have an abortion, the memories seemed to come flooding into his mind.
Back then, he didn't care, he just felt that the guys were jerks and the girls were pitiful. He had even sworn that if he managed to get together with Qiao Anhao, he would never let her endure such darkness, he would give her the best that he could.
And yet he still allowed her to endure such a tragedy...
If he hadn't touched her, if he had been able to control himself, if he had thought to take contraceptive measures... If he had thought about pregnancy nausea few days ago when he had touched her... if...
Lu Jinnian's hands clenched into fists, his throat tight and choked up.
Such a tragedy could have been prevented in so many ways, but he hadn't taken any.
He had let her down.
He had failed to give her the perfect life that he had promised.
Lu Jinnian stayed up the entire night, guarding beside Qiao Anhao's bed.
As the doctor had mentioned, the anesthesia lasted a long time. She slept for a long time with no signs of waking. Halfway through, the doctor visited but left without saying much more than that she was in deep sleep.
The next day at 7 am, Lu Jinnian called his a.s.sistant to drive him and Qiao Anhao back to Mian Xiu Garden.
Madam Chen was already awake. When she saw the car, she ran out to greet them. Lu Jinnian carried Qiao Anhao, who was fast asleep, upstairs, into their room.
With concern, Madam Chen asked, "Mr. Lu, what's wrong with Mrs. Lu?"