"Qiao Qiao, I'm not angry…" Lu Jinnian said calmly. "This time, I just want to treat myself better."
All these years, in order to love you, I thought about you first, before myself.
As time went by, I started to forget that I can hurt as well.
In this world, there isn't anyone who would think for me, so this time, I just want to care for myself.
I don't want to jump right in just because I saw a hint of hope, only to end up in despair.
"Yesterday in the elevator, whatever I said wasn't out of anger, those were heartfelt. I really don't wish to have anything to do with you anymore." Lu Jinnian paused before adding resolutely, "So, Qiao Qiao, do go back to Beijing, don't waste your time here anymore."
Lu Jinnian spoke seriously, allowing Qiao Anhao to understand that he wasn't angry at what happened, he was giving up on her.
Anxiousness started to fill her heart. "But Lu Jinnian, you like me... You've liked me for thirteen years..."
Her words brought him back to the time he was in the car and had sent her the message [I've loved you for thirteen years]. He was reminded of how despaired he had felt at that time.
An unexplainable sorrow started to spread across his heart. He remained silent for a long while before saying, "Yes, I've loved you for thirteen years. But Qiao Qiao, do you know? Now I'm trying very hard to forget you."
Cold numbness crept up Qiao Anhao's body, her heart tugged with a deep painful ache, and her body begun to tremble uncontrollably.
What did he say?
He said that he was trying to forget her?
During the four months he was gone. she had always thought that when they finally reunited, it would be the start of her happiness. She had never expected it to be the end.
Lu Jinnian noticed that she seemed to have been hurt by his words, staring at him blankly without responding.
He couldn't help but feel pained inside as well when he saw her reaction. Lowering his lids, he said faintly, "I'll wait downstairs."
He stood up and left the room.
When the door finally closed, Qiao Anhao snapped back to her senses. She blinked slightly, the tears streaming down her face uncontrollably.
Lu Jinnian had actually said that he was trying to forget her... Qiao Anhao felt an immense pain that made even breathing difficult.
She had no idea how she managed to leave his room and even less of a clue of how she managed to get down and enter the cab with Lu Jinnian. The entire time, her whole mind was filled with one single sentence.
She stared out the window. The more she repeated the sentence, the more her face whitened. In the end, it became as pale as a paper.
Lu Jinnian turned towards the other window, his face impa.s.sive.
When they finally reached the airport, Lu Jinnian paid and alighted first, heading to the other side to open the door for Qiao Anhao. She, on the other hand, remained in a daze, alighting from the cab as though on auto-pilot mode.