Life's Magic Chapter 41

40 Hershey
Oh, God! This hurts more than my broken marriage. Mitch had his baggage from the past. And he hadn't let go of it. I saw it in his eyes. He still loved her. But I couldn't somehow find fault on Mitch nor Donatella. Love shouldn't be tainted with the evil of jealousy.

But I'm just human and a girl who'd hoped once more. Who'd loved once again. I've been so happy. But I didn't expect it to be a short lived fantasy. I wasn't prepared to be slapped by the reality of Mitch and Donatella. God! No wonder it felt so freaking too good to be true. Because it wasn't really true at all. I couldn't stop feeling being used. Of feeling self-pity.

Have I been just a rebound to him? Did he pursue me to fill in the hole Donatella left in his heart? Did he even love me for real? Or were his confessions just shallow words he didn't really mean? Where did I fit in the picture?

My sobbed bubbled up from my throat, my lips quivering in an attempt to stop myself from howling with too much pain. I couldn't understand life sometimes. The test comes first before the lesson, so opposite when you go to school. You're being subjected to pain before you deserved happiness. And then there comes pain once more. Just like how I experienced. But I totally understood the beauty of life now. It's totally magical. You just have to look at the brighter side of the story, weather down the storm to see the silver lining. So that's what should do.

After our dinner, Mitch just dropped me off in my apartment before he drove away. He didn't even say a word. I totally understood him though. He must be confused. I was wrong. I shouldn't be questioning his intentions to me. I knew somehow that he had feelings for me, too. I just didn't know how much and how deep. There's only one way to find that out.

Just as what Maggie said, I've been in this battle once. So I shouldn't fear this anymore. I'm supposed to know what to do. The only consolation I have this time was that it happened before we entered the sacred marriage just as he'd hinted to me. Or it'd be a repeat of my story with my ex-husband before.

I just have to talk to Mitch. Whether to give us a chance or give him up to Donatella. At least I'd know where I stand, whether to stay or should I let go. But dear God, I couldn't stop myself from hoping that there'd be an "us" in a forever kind of way. I already loved him so deep. I couldn't give up now, could I?

With a quick rummage in my bag, I pulled my phone and dialed Mitch's number.
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