Translator: CKtalon Editor: CKtalon
“Ding! Congratulations on randomly obtaining a Carp!” the System said.
Fangzheng was taken aback when he heard that. A carp? He stored up merit worth three or four good deeds only for a carp? Fangzheng was pissed, but after learning his lesson from the previous draws, he had turned smart. He didn’t grumble, choosing to see what it was first.
“Do you accept it?” the System asked with an odd tone.
When Fangzheng heard that, he had a nagging feeling that there was something strange. He subconsciously returned the question. “Can I not?”
“Since you’ve drawn it, you have to accept it anyway,” the System chuckled.
The ominous feeling in Fangzheng grew stronger, but he still nodded. “Then yes!”
The next moment, Fangzheng heard a tragic scream from above him. “Hey! Make way, dodge to the left!”
Fangzheng subconsciously stepped to the left when his head was smacked by a soft, sticky, and slimy thing as it hit his bald head! Following that, the thing bounced off and limply fell to the ground.
Fangzheng looked down, and instantly a string of curses flew across his head. This is a carp!? If this is a f**king carp, I’m Buddha!
Sprawled on the ground was a white fish suffusing a blue glow. The fish looked extremely familiar, so Fangzheng took out his cell phone and went on the Internet to do a search. The next moment, a picture popped out. When he compared it to what was in front of him, Fangzheng turned livid.
Red Boy, Master, Lone Wolf, and Squirrel, who heard the commotion, ran over. Upon seeing Fangzheng staring dazedly at a fish with an ugly expression, the few of them exchanged looks, thinking to themselves, “Is Master craving fish? He wants to eat fish?”
Red Boy came over and took a careful look. He prodded the fish on the ground, but it didn’t move. Its eyes stared wide, and its mouth was gaping. It looked dead. Red Boy looked up at Fangzheng and asked, “Master, why did you buy a salted fish?”
That’s right. The fish didn’t look anything like a carp, nor was it a myriad of colors! Its appearance was identical to a salted fish.
The corners of Fangzheng’s mouth twitched as he looked up in silence. He climbed onto a wall and looked around, thinking, “There’s no one around! Who threw this salted fish?”
Fangzheng asked the System but was met with silence. Thinking back to the System’s odd tone, he instantly had an ominous feeling.
He went over, touched the fish’s body and smacked his lips, asking, “Could this be a carp?”
“Pfft!” Red Boy couldn’t hold it in when he heard Fangzheng’s words, and he burst out laughing. While bending over in laughter, he pointed at the salted fish and said, “Hahaha, Master, are you kidding? This is supposed to be a carp? Carps are colorful and good-looking! Ignoring how this guy only has one color, he’s even ugly! Ignoring how ugly he is, take a look at his overall state. Look at his face, then his eyes, and finally his smell! This is nothing but a salted fish.”
“Salted, my ass!” At that moment, before Fangzheng could even say a word, a voice suddenly sounded from the ground.
Fangzheng, Red Boy, and company were taken aback. They looked down and saw the fish still looking dead. However, if it hadn’t been him just now, who else could it have been?
Squirrel went over and touched the fish’s head. “He looks really dead. Master, did he die from the fall?”
Fangzheng’s face turned livid. Die from the fall? When the darn fish fell from the sky, it had even tricked him into being a fleshy cushion to break its fall. The one to die would have been him, not the salted fish.
“You’re the one who’s dead!” The gangster-like voice that sounded arrogant on account of its seniority, as though it was a thousand-year old wily old fox, sounded once again. This time, everyone saw very clearly that it came from the salted fish!
Squirrel jumped in fright and ran onto Lone Wolf’s head. He pulled at his long fur and hid himself.
As for Lone Wolf, he wasn’t afraid. The monastery had such a powerful monk and a super great demon king. Any demon that came would end up sprawled on the ground. He went over and took a sniff. “You aren’t dead even though you are so salted?”
“Have you never seen a salt bath, punk?” With a smacking sound, Salted Fish flipped his body, causing a salty smell to exude. Even Fangzheng subconsciously frowned.
Fangzheng said, “This isn’t on the level of a salt bath… Did you struggle to climb out of a pit of salt you fell into for ten years or something?”
The moment Fangzheng said that, everyone imagined that the darn fish would counter him, but the fish ended up rolling its eyes. “How did you know?”
Everyone was instantly rendered speechless. The guess was actually right?
Fangzheng narrowed his eyes and asked, “Were you the one who told This Penniless Monk to move left?”
Salted Fish was taken aback as he stared at Fangzheng and asked, “Who’s the boss over here?”
Everyone looked at Fangzheng collectively. Seeing everyone’s gazes, Salted Fish raised his head suddenly and made a smacking sound as it fell to the ground. Then, there was silence. His eyes were opened especially wide as he was lying there, faking his death!
Fangzheng frowned. It had been this guy indeed. But to play dead? This was useless against him!
Seeing Salted Fish go silent, Red Boy prodded him, but Salted Fish remained silent.
Squirrel was a little more innocent. He went over and asked, “Master, did you scare him to death?”
“I scared him to death? That’s good then. Send him down the mountain and let the villagers have a feast. Regardless, this is still a salted fish from Mount Numinous.” Fangzheng sneered as he looked smilingly at Salted Fish. Playing dead with me? Perhaps other monks might feel a little sad, but Fangzheng was no proper monk!
The moment Salted Fish heard that, his body clearly stiffened up.
When Red Boy and company heard that, they were instantly amused. Red Boy grabbed Salted Fish by the tail and dragged him out. As he walked, he said, “Master, if I can give you some advice, all the meat on such a huge fish is treasure. If it’s stewed with your spirit ginseng, you will be able to speed up your cultivation.”
Fangzheng said with a smile, “That won’t do. This Penniless Monk is a monk after all. How can he eat meat? Send it down. Right, with such a good fish, let everyone try it.”
“Ah? Master, are you sure? There are so many families and so many people. How can you split such a tiny fish for so many people?” Red Boy was a little stumped.
Monkey said slowly, “Simple. You chop it up and grind the meat at the village entrance before giving each family a little.”
The moment that was said, Salted Fish, who was acting dead, suddenly moved and started screaming. “Are you really monks? Do you even have an ounce of goodness in you? Mutilating a corpse isn’t right, do you know that? Have you ever read the scriptures at least?”
The moment Salted Fish spoke, everyone laughed. Little fellow, why not continue the act?
However, Squirrel adorably pulled at his big bushy tail and said, “Wow! A reanimation! Weren’t you dead?”
“You’re the dead one! Can’t I sleep?” Salted Fish yelled arrogantly.
Squirrel thought nothing of it. “You were sleeping? But weren’t your eyes open?”
Salted Fish rolled his eyes dramatically and said, “Find me a fish with eyelids! Try getting it to close its eyes for me!”